User blog:PixieLil/The Legend of Pixie, Twilight Parody (Part 2)
Click here for part 1 And you thought I'd forgotten about this. :P Anyway, I'm switching over to RP form because, 1: it's easier to write. And 2: Do I need another reason? Chapter 3: The Twilight Pixie awakens in a dungeon cell Pixie: Ugh, where am I? *''Pixie looks at herself and realizes that she's a puffle*'' And better yet, WHAT am i? A laugh is heard somewhere in the dungeon Pixie: What was that? A strange creatue appears Pixie: AHHHHH Creature: What's wrong, does my appearance scare you? Eee hee! Pixie: GOOD GRIEF, IT'S NAKED! Creature: I am not naked, I have feathers! Pixie: -_- Creature: Look, do you want out of here or not? -_- Pixie: Um... okay... The creature blasts a hole through the wall and hops onto Pixie's back Creature: You're free, but now you'll have to do exactly as I say, or else! Eee hee! Pixie: O_O Creature: Do you know where we are? Pixie: Um, no... Creature: Well, maybe you'll find out soon Creature: Now, come on! Pixie runs through the dungeon, killing a few monsters and meeting a ghost along the way They enter a window of what appears to be a castle *A hooded figure turns to look at them* Figure: Midna? Creature aka Midna: You remembered my name? What an honor! Pixie: You two know each other? Figure: Um.. I don't speak puffle... Midna: I'm the only one who can understand you, Furball! Pixie: -_- Figure: Um, so, I guess you're the legendary hero? Pixie: No... Figure: Great! Cause we just happen to need a hero right now! You see, it all started about a week ago, when this sparkly vampire guy showed up and took over the kingdom, he covered it in darkness, and declared himself king. In this "Twilight" The people live as spirits, unaware of what's happend to them, they know only fear, fear of a nameless evil. Oh, and they also all seem to suddenly love the Twilight series... Anyway we need someone to end the "twilight" and save Pengrule! Pixie: Wait, wait, wait, why aren't you a spirit? Figure: Because... *dramatic pause, as the figure removes his hood* I am Prince Gary! Pixie: Wow, that's so.... unexpected! And, why can you suddenly speak puffle? Gary: …… Pixie: …… Gary: You should go, the guard will be here soon! Minda: Well, bai! Pixie and Midna leave Midna: Well, that was certainly interesting! Now, don't you think you should go help your friends? Pixie: Huh? Midna transforms into Rookie Midna: Remember now? Pixie: Oh, those brats... why should I help them? Midna: I'll give you cake! Pixie: OKAY!! Midna warps Pixie back to the lake where she was kidnapped from Chapter 4: The Fetch Quest Pixie: Soo, now what? Midna: I need a sword and shield! Pixie: Wait, where am I supposed to find those? *Midna shrugs* Midna: Actually, it doesn't have to be a sword, a flamethrower would be even better! Pixie: Great, I know where to find one of those! *Pixie runs back to her village* *Pixie eavesdrops on a conversation between Mayor Arctic and another villager* Villager: Mayor, this is too dangerous! Charlie had a sword and he still got injured! Mayor Arctic: I'll take my chances, we have to find the children! Pixie: Huh? What's going on here? *The villagers notice Pixie watching them* Mayor Arctic: AHHH MONSTER, RUN!! Pixie: …… Midna: Now, get me my freaking flamethrower!!! Pixie: Demanding, aren't we? *Pixie grabs her flamethrower and they set off for Puffle Woods* Pixie: So um.. Voice: Please..... help....me... *Pixie follows the voice, and finds a floating ball of light* Voice: I...am...a....light..spirit........recover..my....light. which ....was...stolen...by...giant...bugs......in this.... *The spirit gives Pixie something that looks like a bunch of grapes* Pixie: Um... what am I supposed to do with this? Spirit: ……… *disappears* Pixie: -_- *A giant sparkly bug appears* Midna: Look, there's one of those bugs it was talking about! Pixie: Ew, I hate bugs! *Pixie jumps on the bug, squishing it* Midna: *looking at a book* So, according to the strategy guide, it looks like we have to kill these bugs before we can enter the next area. *Midna is smacked by a frying pan* Locy's voice: NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! Midna: O_O One glorified and extremely boring fetch quest later *Pixie and Midna have banished the "Twilight" from Penguin Woods* Pixie: I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN! Midna: Well, too bad! According to the strategy guide, you have to do this two more times. *Midna is smacked by a frying pan again* Pixie: Can I have my cake now? Midna: No, you don't get cake until you finish this quest! *Pixie starts crying* Light Spirit: Ahem, I don't mean to interrupt, but, um... do you want me to change you back into a penguin? Pixie: *sarcastically* No, I just love being a puffle! *Pixie is transformed back into a penguin* Pixie: *looks down at her clothes* Um, what am I wearing? Spirit: Your reward! Pixie: A green dress? My reward is a dress?! Spirit: Well, technically, it's a tunic.. and it once belonged to the "Legendary Hero" Pixie: MY REWARD FOR SPENDING 5 HOURS KILLING BUGS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE IS A USED DRESS?!! Spirit: Well um... Pixie: I'M OUT! *Pixie stomps off angrily* Spirit: Well hey, if you ever want to help me out again, there's a temple deep in the woods that's possessed by evil snowmen! Midna: Oh hey, I need to go to that temple anyway! *Midna uses her powers to freeze Pixie in place* Midna: And, I need your help for this! Pixie : AW, C'MON! -_- Minda: Eee hee! Chapter 5: The Temple Pixie and Midna enter the deep woods, where Pixie's lantern is stolen by a snowman Pixie: HEY! Midna: You idiot, if you hadn't been staring off into space, it wouldn't have taken your lantern! *Pixie chases the snowman into the temple* Midna: Well, we're here! Pixie: Ugh, I hate the forest temple almost as much as I hate water temples! Pixie is smacked by a frying pan Midna: Just get it over with! *''checks book*'' The game gets better after thi- Midna is smacked by a frying pan for breaking the fourth wall Pixie: Okay, I'm scared now.... Snowmen: …… *points to door* Pixie: Um, I think it wants us to follow it... *They follow the snowman around the temple where Pixie rescues a bunch of other snowmen, wins one of the most immature boss fights ever, and collects a bunch of random items. And that concludes the timeskip of the part of the game that the author finds too boring to write about!* The narrator has been smacked by a frying pan for breaking the fourth wall Midna: HA, serves you right! Pixie: Wait, we have a narrator? *Pixie has been smacked with a frying pan *When Pixie regains consciousness* Pixie: Hey look, it's the boss door! *They enter the boss room* Pixie: Soo, why do they call it a "boss" anyways? Minda: Well, because-- Tusk: GRRRRR! Pixie: A walrus? Midna: But according to the strategy guide, the boss is a gi-- Narrator: STOP IT WITH THE "According to the strategy guide" CRAP! Midna and the narrator are smacked by a frying pan Pixie: …… Tusk: How did you get past my minion? Pixie: You mean the immature snow-monkey? Tusk: What? He isn't immature! Flashback to the mini-boss fight Pixie: This room looks kinda empty... A giant snow-monkey jumps through a window Monkey: YOU CANNOT PASS! Pixie: Orlly? Monkey: Now, FACE MY WRATH! *slaps self on the butt* Pixie: Da hell? The monkey chucks a boomerang at Pixie Pixie: *''Catches boomerang*'' That was supposed to impress me? Monkey: Huh? How did y- *Pixie melts the monkey with her flamethrower* Pixie: That was surprisingly easy... Boomerang: Hai, I'm a talking boomerang! Pixie: AGH, IT TALKS! *throws boomerang into a volcano* End flashback Tusk: Um...Well.. maybe he was a little immature... Pixie: Soo, can I leave now? Tusk: No, you have to kill me firs- *Pixie dumps hot sauce on Tusk* Tusk: NOOOOOOO IT BURNS!!! Tusk explodes, leaving behind a heart container and something that looks like Midna's helmet Midna: *grabs helmet* I'll just be taking this now.... Pixie: Umm... that was... interesting... Pixie and Midna warp out of the temple Light spirit: YOU ACTUALLY DID IT?! Whoa! You're so gullible YOU'RE AWESOME! Hey, want another quest? Pixie: Um..no.. Spirit: Great! Now I need you to travel to the Eldin Province and save my brother! Pixie: What part of NO do you not understand? Spirit: JUST GO! Midna: Well, we needed something from Eldin anyway.... Pixie: -__- Chapter 6: Bombs, Bugs, and More Bad Jokes Midna and Pixie leave for the Eldin Province Pixie: Soo, why are we doing this again? Midna: Because, I need another fused shadow. And, because According to the strategy guide your friends are there. Pixie: Oh alright! A creepy looking penguin in shorts runs up to Pixie Penguin: HEYYYY! WAIT UP! Pixie: O_O Penguin: Go no further, there is a black wall up ahead! Pixie: Um, who are you? Penguin: I am the honorable and dependable letter carrier known to some as The Postman! Pixie: "Known to some?" Postman: Yeah, most people call me That Stalking Mailman for some reason... Pixie: I wonder why? Postman: Well, my business is concluded, ONWARD TO MAIL!! The postman runs away Pixie: That was weird! Midna: C'mon, I want to get to the twilight before it gets dark! Pixie walks down a path until she smacks into a badly constructed wall Pixie: Oww! The creepy mailman wasn't kidding about the wall! Midna: You sure you wanna go in there? You'll turn into a puffle again and you might not be able to get back for quite some time! Pixie: FORGET IT! *runs away* *Midna grabs Pixie and shoves her through a door in the wall* Random voice: You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension—a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone. Pixie: What the heck was that? Midna: It sounded the the intro of an old TV show... Pixie: …… Midna:…… Pixie: …… An hour later Pixie:…… Midna: We should probably get going... Pixie: Yeah... Pixie and Midna walk down the road until they come to a bridgeless gap Pixie: Ugh, now what? Midna: Leave this to me! Midna leaves and returns a few minutes later with the bridge Pixie: O_O How'd you carry that thing? Midna: Magic! Pixie: -_- The heroes continue their journey, killing a few shadow monsters, crawling under a gate, and wandering through a dusty canyon for several hours Pixie: Ugh, are you sure there's a village here? Midna: It's right around the next bend! Pixie: You've been saying that for the past hour! -_- Midna: Shaddup and walk, Furball! Pixie: -_- When they finally arrive in a village Midna: Well, this place isn't very lively... Pixie: …… *Pixie pokes at a penguin laying on the ground* Pixie: Ugh, it looks like we're too late, everyone's already dead! Midna: I think we've stumbled upon a "ghost" town! Heheheh Pixie: ..... Midna: *looking at the dead penguin* Hey, this guy's a "dead" ringer of my cousin! Eee hee Pixie: Seriously Midna! Do you have to joke about everything? Midna: Sorry... Light spirit: Ahem, aren't you supposed to help me? Pixie: Ugh! Light spirit: You know the deal, kill bugs, capture the light in this bunch of grapes, bring it back to me. You got the Light Spirit's light holder. It looks like a bunch of grapes... Pixie: Soo, why does it look like a bunch of grapes anyway? Spirit: I dunno! ''*vanishes* Pixie: -_- Let's just get this over with. Pixie walks past a building Midna: Shh, I hear something! Someone can be heard mumbling from inside the building Voice 1: Sensei, Why do I have to play the crazy guy? Voice 2: Because, I didn't want that part, and you're the only other one here! Voice 2: But it isn't fair!! Voice 1: Shaddup Jay, and read the script! The "hero" is coming. Pixie enters the building through a window, and sees the missing kids along with 3 other penguins Jay: *mutters to self* I don't even like Twilight! The older penguin glares at him Jay: Um.. I mean.. *looks at script* don't see those monsters anywhere! They've gotta be out there somewhere, waiting for their helpless prey to come out, then they'll feast! Zoey whimpers Sensei: Do not worry, if those monsters come in here, I'll use my ninja powers on them! Jay: Oh yeah? They didn't seem very impressed by my bombs, how long do you think an old man like you would survive against beasts that strong, huh? Sensei: I'm only 450... Jay: Remember the lady from the gift shop? Just one of those things attacked her, and the whole population of the town tried to save her, and what happened? *glances at script* The old guy glared at the welding mask gu- Sensei: You idiot, you're not supposed to read the actions out loud! Jay: Well, nobody told me that! Sensei: Let's just finish the scene, and hope it doesn't get ruined any worse! Pixie: .... what's going on here? Jay: *looks at script again* And what happened? She was already gone, and there were TWO more monsters waiting! You connecting the dots? That means if they attack us, then we'll be- Sensei: JAY, ENOUGH! *Zelda starts crying* Jay: …… Look, Sensei, all I'm trying to say, is that it's dangerous in here! Don't you have someplace we could hide? Sensei: Now that you mention it, I do have a basement... Jay: WHAT?! WHERE'S THE ENTRANCE?!! Sensei: The door will open when all of the candles have been lit... Jay immediately rushes to light the candles, and trips over Pixie's foot Jay: OW, what was that? Pixie: They can't see me, right? Midna nods Jay continues to light candles Dana: I would not do that if I were you... Jay: Huh? Dana: When the monsters first attached, father locked me in the basement, and I saw a bunch of creepy looking bugs. Jay: AHHH! I HATE BUGS! *crawls into corner* Pixie: Heheheh, cowardly penguins are so funny sometimes! Midna: …… Jay: We're all going to die! Grace: Don't worry, Pixie is coming to save us! Zelda: Yeah, right... Jay: *looking at Sensei* Who's Pixie? *Sensei shrugs* Zoey: She'll come, I can feel it! Midna: Aw, how sweet! At least one of these brats has faith in your abilities! Pixie: Soo, I guess I should try to light the candles? Pixie lights all of the candles using her flamethrower, causing a trapdoor to open up Zelda: WTH! Sensei: What sorcery is this? Jay: THEY'VE FIGURED OUT HOW TO OPEN THE DOOR AND NOW WE'RE GONNA DIE!! Pixie enters the basement and kills the bugs One boring and repetitive bug hunt later Light spirit: Hey, thanks! Now if you want another quest, could you maybe head up that mountain over there and banish the evil that's settled there? Pixie: *sarcastically* Sure, shall I get you an ice cream sandwich while am at it? Spirit: Well, if you're offering.. Pixie: Don't you know sarcasm when ya hear it? -_- The spirit disappears Pixie: Wow, how can someone be so ungrateful? At least the first spirit give me a dress... Midna: We should get going... Chapter 7: Reunions, Rookies, and Regrets Coming soon Category:Blog posts